Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Randomize
