he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
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I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
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ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed