i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.