those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
