just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
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I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
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Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.