I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
they call him Oral-B. enough said
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.