I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Enjoy the penises
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
