"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
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