Dual....:-)
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
