A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
