Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
