They should really pass out barf bags in church
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize
