Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
