How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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