Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Randomize
