I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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