I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Randomize
