I puked a lego.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
This is the high leading the old right now
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
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THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I think your dad took our porno
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
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