my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Randomize