Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Randomize
