shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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