I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
