he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize
