I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
i think im in europe. pls send help
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
