got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Randomize
