so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
She told me I should be a condom model.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
