I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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