Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
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