I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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