I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
