Your tits are I can't wait for
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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