I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
