Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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