I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Well I just put wine in my tea
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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