He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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