Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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