Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
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Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
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You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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