Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
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