weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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