i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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