Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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