I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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