i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
