so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
