what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Randomize