So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
