The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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