I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Randomize
