I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
