Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Randomize
