making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
