btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Randomize