If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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