You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
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