Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
