his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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