I want to make a zoo with you.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
me + whiskey = a bad person
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
