is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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