what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
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The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
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Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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