Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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