i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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