It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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