As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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