just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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