Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Randomize
